Letters From A Friend
by dino-dog83
Summary: Dear Gil, We've talked about this for a long time and I'm finally ready. It's all here please make sure they understand. Talk to you on Sunday. Love Always, Sara
1. You've Got Mail

"Job well done everyone, the DA shouldn't have a problem getting a conviction on a case like this." After congratulating his team, Grissom looks down at the package in his hands before continuing to address the others in the room. "Um there's one more thing."

"What's up doc?" Greg chimmed in when Grissom failed to continue.

Giveing Greg his 'I'm not amused look' Grissom continued. "I received a package in the mail earlier tonight."

"Yeah so?" Catherine asked, her patience beginning to run out.

"It's from Sara." The team was not only shocked but for the first time since he'd entered the break room they were speechless. He continued; "It's addressed to all of us."

"Well what is it?" Nick asks being the first to break the silence.

"I don't know I haven't opened it yet." Grissom turned around and started to leave.

"Hey man, where ya going?" Nick called after his boss.

"To my office. Care to join me?" And with that everyone filed out of the break room and began to follow Grissom to his office curious to see what was contained with in the package from their friend.

As each member of the team flowed through the door of Grissom's office they took a seat or found ample standing room and waited for their boss to open the package.

As he tore into the package Grissom was already pretty sure he knew what he was going to find. Pulling out a letter with his name on it he began to read it out loud for all to hear.

Gil,

We've talked about this for a long time and I'm finally ready.

It's all here please make sure they understand. Talk to you on Sunday.

Love Always,

Sara

"Understands? Understand what?" Greg asked obviously just as confused as the rest of the team.

"All in good time Greg." Jim piped in. Other than Grissom he seemed to be the only person in the room that wasn't confused by Sara's letter to Gil.

Grissom wasted no time in passing out the letters to everyone and explaining that Sara would like them to share what's she's written to each with the others, therefore they all read their letters out loud in turn.

Dear Nick,

You've always been like a big brother to me. There to watch out for me when I need it and to make fun of me when I don't. And because of that I feel like we have a special bond. Maybe even in more than this, because lets face it Nick we saved each other.

I'm sorry I had to leave but once I explain why I hope you'll understand and be able to forgive me.

Just know that I'll be back one day.

Always my brother, forever my friend,

Sara

As Nick finished reading he looked around the room. It was then that he realized he wasn't the only one with tears in his eyes.

"Cath, why don't you go next." Nick said in a very quiet voice.

Cath,

I bet your surprised to be hearing form me! I know you and I haven't always been the best of friends. In fact we've probably argued more times than either of us care to count. But all that aside the truth is I've always looked up to you.

You're a beautiful, smart, strong, and independent woman. And most of all you're a wonderful mother. That was something I never had growing up. My childhood was... well lets just say it was far from perfect, you'll understand soon.

Your good friend,

Sara

"What does she mean I'll find out soon?" Catherine asked the investigator in her beating out the emotions she was feeling.

"There's somethings that Sara wants me to share with you all but not until everyone has read their letters." Grissom tried to provide the best explanation that he could at this point in time.

"Well then we'd better get a move on." Greg quickly ripped into his letter so that they could keep things moving and find out the rest of what Sara wanted to share with them. Not only was he dying to see what his letter had to say, Greg was impatient to know what the rest of the package contained.

Hey Greggo,

To me you're that quirky annoying little brother that I never had or wanted – just kidding. But I wouldn't trade you for the world now that I have you.

I know you're probably upset with Gil for my leaving. Please don't be it was entirely my doing.

I want you to do something for me while I'm away. I want you to keep listening to your music in the lab, keep drinking your Blue Hawaiian and keep making those silly jokes you love so much. The team (especially Gil) may not know it but they need you as much as you need them. You, you're the heart and soul of the team Greg.

Hang in there, I'll be back as soon as I can, and I'll teach you everything you'll need to know to be the amazing CSI I know you'll be come.

You're "big sister,"

Sara

"Did you hear that? I'm the heart AND soul – don't you think that deserves a raise?" directing the last part of his statement to Greg, he quickly turns to his colleges not expecting and answer from his boss.

"That must be one of those silly jokes she was referring to" Warrick took the opportunity to answer Greg's 'question.'

"Haha very funny." Greg retorted. "What's yours say 'Rick?"

Warrick,

Things didn't start out on the best of terms for us 'Rick. That was probably because I was brought here to investigate you. But I think we were able to move beyond that and become very good friends.

I always looked forward to hearing you're thoughts and advice because you always managed to be non-judgemental and helpful at the same time.

Please help the others by being their moral compass when they need you most.

You're best friend,

Sara

P.S. Try not to take too much of Nick's money on you're office bets.

"More like the other way around there buddy." Nick quickly chimed in to defend his pride.

Since everyone had read their letter Grissom picks up the package on his desk and begins handing everyone a thick folder of information and asks them not to open it yet.

"What's this? Looks like a case file." Catherine's CSI skills coming threw loud and clear again.

"It is." Is Grissom's only reply.

"What about Jim?" Catherine continues her line of questions.

"Actually I already know everything. Shortly after we saved Sara from Natalie, she came to me and asked me to help her find this information. I helped put together this file. This (holding up the folder) had a lot to do with why she left." Brass looked quiet solum during his explanation. Which told Catherine all she really needed to know.

Continuing his explanation, Grissom continued before there were any more questions. "She had to go and fight her demons – she needed to put her past to rest before she could move on with her future. I don't know why she has to share all of this, but it something she felt like she wanted to do and I just want her to be happy." He paused for a second before asking his next question. "How much do any of you know about Sara's family?" Waiting for a moment but not receiving an answer from anyone, like he expected, "When Sara was a little girl her father was an alcoholic and was abusive. When Sara was 11 her mother couldn't take it any more and killed her father while Sara was in the room. After that she was placed into foster care until she left for college. In your hands is a copy of her file. Everythings in there; medical records, police reports, foster home reports, everything."

"And Sara wants us to read this?" Nick asks in disbelief.

"Yes if you want to." Grissom replies.

"Gil, I don't know what to say." Catherine looks to her friend for an answer.

Not one to disappointed he responds; "Then don't say anything. Just take it home and read it or don't." Looking to everyone now, "Please take it home and read through it at your own pace. If you have any questions Sara wants you to come to Jim or I and we'll do the best we can to answer them."

And with that team filed out of the break room quietly heading home with their personal letters and a copy of Sara's file.


	2. Team Reactions

Having been home for nearly 3 hours now, Nick Stokes had come home sat on his couch, dropped the file on his coffee table and had been staring intently at it ever since.

He was fighting an internal conflict, on hand he wanted to know all about his best friend, what had happened to her in her childhood. The other part of him didn't want to betray her privacy as he knew this was something that was very important to her. Then again she is the one that put the file together and decided to share it with everyone so he wouldn't really be betraying her after all.

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Sitting in her SUV in the LVPD parking lot, Catherine Willows had hardly made it out of the office before she began to crack open the file that Grissom had given them not 10 minutes earlier.

As she sat in her car intently reading through the file, tears began to stream down her cheeks. While the younger CSI and her weren't exactly best friends. Catherine had indeed considered the girl to be a friend. And as Sara's friend it was breaking her heart to know what she had gone through at such an early age. Hell this kind of thing would of gotten to her if it were a total stranger never mind someone that she considered to be close to her.

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Not unlike Catherine, Greg had barely made it out of Grissom's office before he cracked open the file and began flipping though it. However very unlike Catherine Greg was not reading every bit of information there was to absorb, rather he was just flipping past the pages and getting the 'just' of the story – mainly from the pictures.

Approximately at the half way point Greg had stopped looking at the file and decided that was enough of the story and that he didn't need to or want to know any more.

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Warrick had managed to make it home and get him self a snack and change into some comfortable clothes before he began to look at the file that was provided to him. As he begain to read it his mood began to spiral downhill the further into the file he got.

As he was with everything else Warrick was calm and collected on the outside as he read the file showing the horrible pictures of what his friend had gone through in her younger years. And so he sat reading through the pages one at time until nearly 7 hours after he began he reached the last page. Closing the file he sat back in his chair and streched out, sitting there thinking about what he was going to do next.


	3. One on One

After sitting in the chair for nearly an hour contemplating his next move, Warrick decided that he would get some sleep and figure out his next move in the morning.

While sleeping may have seemed like a good idea at the time it turned out that all Warrick was capable of was tossing and turning. Although sleep had been the goal, one he'd failed to reach by far. He had managed to make a decision on what he was going to do, and that decision was to call Sara even though he hadn't quite decided on what to say.

Waiting patiently for Sara to answer her phone Warrick listened to the rings and began thinking about what he wanted to say.

"Hello?" he heard from the other side of the line.

"Hey Sar, it's 'Rick." The smile could almost be heard in his voice.

"Hey 'Rick." She replied, the nervousness in her voice hadn't gone unnoticed by either party. After a few moments of silence, Sara continued; "Listen Warrick, I'm sorry about…" she started but was cut off by her friend.

"No, I'm sorry. I know you didn't want to talk to any of us right now and that I probably shouldn't of called but I didn't know what else to do." He said honestly.

"It's a lot, I know." She admitted. She'd already figured at least one of the team would try and contact her but she'd expected it would be Nick or even Greg, but not Warrick.

"Yeah Sara, it is a lot." A bit of frustration could be heard in his voice. He let out a sigh before he continued, "are you ok?"

"No," She answered honestly, "but I'm working on being ok." As Sara was talking about how she was going to therapy and how visiting her mom had helped her understand a lot Warrick could hear the doorbell ring in the background and Sara moving to answer it.

As Sara made her way through the apartment she gathered some money from the table assuming that this was the take out she'd ordered.

When she opened the door she was surprised that not only was it not the delivery boy but that it was someone she'd never expected to show up at her door. "Nick?!?"

"Nick?" Warrick asked in confusion from the other side of the phone.

"Uh…" was Sara's first reply as she nearly forgot he was there. "Warrick, I'll call you back." Was the last thing she said to him before hanging up and dropping the phone to her side.

Noticing that Sara was standing there in silence and possibly a bit of shock Nick decided he'd better say something. "I shouldn't of come." Was all he said.

"No." Sara said calmly, and then Nick turned to leave. "I mean yes. I mean it's ok come in." She stammered as she placed her hand on his shoulder to keep him from leaving.

Nick stepped through the front door and immediately gave Sara a bear hug. When the two of them separated Nick could see the tears present in Sara's eyes. "Sara," he began holding her face in his hands "are you alright?"

She shook her head yes, not trusting her voice at this moment in time. "Nick," she paused for a second, "are you angry with me?"

"What?" concern and confusion clear in his voice. "No. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know" she sighed and started walking towards the sofa. "Because of everything that's happened. Because I just up and left, because I dropped this huge load of information in you're lap. Just because..." she trailed off not sure what else to say.

"Listen Sar," he began as he moved farther into the apartment looking for a place to sit her down before he continued. Settling her on the couch, Nick took a seat on the coffee table across from her before he continued.

"Things between us," he motioned to the two of them with his hands "are more than ok. And I don't have to forgive you for leaving because I was never angry with you in the first place. What you said in that letter you're right we did save each other. You found me in a box six feet below the ground. And I found you in the middle of nowhere in 110-degree heat. You and I, we're survivors Sara. We survived something that most people can't even imagine. The experience, the fear, the emotions, the pain it's all still there for me and I know it's there for you too. But Sara, you can't just run away, you have to let us in, you have to let us help you."

"That's never been something I've been good at Nick." She admitted, while adverting her eyes.

"Talk to me Sara, let me help you, help me understand." He prompted in a soft friendly voice.

For a moment confusion clouded her mind, and then a moment of clarity; "You didn't read the file?" She asked, head tilted to one side.

Shaking his head no, "If you have something you'd like to share I'd rather hear it from you."

"Oh…I….uh…" was all she could manage to get start with. "I don't know where to start."

"Start at the beginning." Calm concern in his friendly voice prompted Sara to continue.


	4. Clearing the Air

As they sat there Sara did exactly what Nick had suggested; She started at the beginning. She told Nick all about her less than ideal childhood – the trips to the hospital, what her mother, father and brother were like.

She told him about the day that her mother had killed her father – the resulting placement in her first foster home and the many that would come after that.

She told him about what happened in the desert, how she'd managed to survive – what she'd felt and thought about while she was out there and that she was sure she wouldn't make it back.

And much to both their delight she told him about her relationship with Gil – how it had all started in San Francisco and again in Vegas, how they had finally become an "item" and about the "dear john" letter she'd left him when she'd run away a few months ago.

Though Nick had mostly remained silent while Sara was telling the story of her life he had the odd question here and there. He'd been surprised to find out she had a brother; he'd offered comfort when she was telling him about her escape from Natalie Davis; and he was glad to hear about her happiness with Grissom but mostly he just listened.

As Sara's stories lead from past events to the present and the stories came to an end both CSI's sat on the couch in silence for a moment before Sara's observation of Nick broke the quietness. "You still have a questions." She'd seen that look on his face before while working a case. It was the kind of look he got when he hadn't yet solved the puzzle but was only missing a few key peices.

"Yeah I do." He said, not sure if he should ask them.

"Shoot." Came Sara's honest reply.

"Have you ever talked about this before?"

"All of it, like this? No." she almost laughed. "Gil knows some, bits and pieces I guess. Brass too, he helped me get all the information in my file. Catherine has figured some out on her own I think but she's never said anything."

"And 'Rick and Greg?"

She shook her head no.

"Are you coming back?"

"To Vegas?" she asked to clarify. When he shook his head yes she continued. "I don't know. I want to, it's my home. You and the others are my family and Gil…" she trailed off not sure where she stood with him. Even though the two had been in constant contact since she'd left things were far from perfect. They'd talked, he'd understood why she left, he'd even forgiven her for leaving the way she did, but she knew she'd hurt him.

"He loves you, ya know." Sara looked at him completely taken off guard. How could he know that when he'd only found out about the two of them a few months ago.

"What?" Nick asked when he saw the look on his friends face. "Common Sar, give us a lil' credit will ya?" He laughed a little. "We are investigators. We've all known for a long time how the two of you felt about each other – we just didn't know you'd actually done anything about it."

"Oh." Sara said before the two shared a look and began to smile and laugh.


	5. Breakfast and a Call

**A/N: Sorry for the long time between chapters. I will finish this story yet - stick with me folks.**

The next morning when Sara awoke she found Nick in the kitchen preparing breakfast. "You didn't have to cook." She told him as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I think it's better for both of us if I do." He winked at her hinting at her lack of cooking skills.

"You know, I don't know why everyone thinks I can't cook." She stated bewildered at the constant jokes about her cooking skills.

"Maybe it's because you always have take out cartons all over the place."

"I do not!" She defended.

"Oh yeah? Then why did you think I was the delivery boy yesterday?" He raised an eyebrow and waited for her reply.

"Well because, I just…."

"You just what, ordered out?" They both laughed as they sat down to enjoy the breakfast Nick had made.

"Nick?"

"Mmm?"

"How long are you staying?" Reading the look on his face she decided she'd better add to that question. "I mean, you're welcome to stay as long as you want, I was just wondering, I mean you came pretty fast. Does Grissom even know you're here?"

"No. I'll be heading back after breakfast. I have to work tonight. Plus I owe 'Rick some money and you know…." Nick trailed of when Sara got up from the table and started to sort through some papers in the kitchen. "Sara?"

"Warrick." She answered "I was on the phone with him when you surprised me at the door yesterday. I kinda hung up on him. I need to call him back." She said not looking up from the drawer she was riffling through.

Nick seeing that his friend was becoming flustered tried to get her attention. "Sara." He called, but got no reply. "Sara!" he tried louder this time but still no reply as she continued looking through drawers. "Sara." He tried on last time and placed his hand on her shoulder to try and get attention.

"What?" she replied, still not calm.

"What are you looking for?" Nick asked trying to get his friend to slow down for a minute so that she could explain herself.

"Warrick's number, I know I have it here somewhere." She stated and her eyes began to search the counter tops as they stood there.

"Here," Nick said holding out his cell phone for her to use. "Use mine, his number is in the contact list."

"Thanks" she said taking the phone from him. As she did so Nick silently made is way out of the kitchen to give his friends some privacy to talk.

It was early moring and Warrick was on his way to the break room to finish up the last of the paperwork on his case before head headed home for the day. When his cell began to ring he looked down and saw Nick's name on the screen. "Hey, you know you still owe me 50 bucks right?"

"I'll be sure to pass along the message." Sara said.

"Sara?" he turned into an empty room so that he could have a little privacy to talk with is friend.

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry I hung up on you like that yesterday."

"No. It's ok, I was….wait. Is Nick there with you?"

"Yeah, he came up yesterday. Right around the time I…"

"…hung up on me, yeah. I'd like to say it's all starting to make sense but I'm a lil' lost here Sar." He said down and waited for her to continue.

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't think I handled this very well." She paused for a moment trying to decide what to say next.

"Listen Sara, I may not understand why you sent us all a letter and a file instead of just coming and talking to us, to me. But you have my support no matter what, ok."

"Ok." Sara said, with a big grin on her face.

"Look I gotta go finish up some paper work before shift ends. Tell Nick, cash only, no cheques!"

"Will do." She laughed and hung up the phone.

**A/N part duex: I'm not really sure where to take this from here - so if anyone has any ideas - drop me a PM or leave a comment in the review area.**


	6. Two outta Three's A Start

**A/N: Thanks for the ideas all. I had a bit of trouble with this chappy, it's a bit of a "filler" but I think it flows nicely with the story and isn't too far off beat or full of "unimportant info." Hope you enjoy! More to come after the holidays!**

3 days later…

As Sara walked into the Las Vegas Crime Lab she took in her surroundings. Not much had changed in the months since she'd left but somehow it all felt different.

"Sara!" came the happy voice of Judy, the receptionist for the office, "it's so great to see you again."

"Hey Judy," Sara said with a smile as she walked over to the woman's desk. "Thanks, you too. Do you happen to know where my husband is?" she asked.

"Oh Dr. Grissom hasn't returned from his scheduled court case yet. But you can wait in his office if you like."

"Thanks Judy!" Sara smiled before heading off to Grissom's office.

As he walked through the doorway to the office, she took in the surroundings. The office was full of specimens, books, and other Grissom-like trinkets. Tossing her bag on the sofa beside her Sara settled in with her book from the plane. She wasn't sure how long she'd have to wait but knowing how these things went she figured it could be a while so she might as well get comfortable now.

Sitting there reading Sara figured about 20 minutes had gone by. She could tell by the number of pages she'd read thus far. As she flipped the page to a new chapter she heard someone approach the office. Figuring it would be her husband she set her book down and prepared to great him. As she got off the couch she was surprised to see Greg walk through the door to the office.

"Sara….." he said in surprise.

"Uh, Greg, Hi." Sara replied with a small smile unsure how her friend would greet her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I…" she paused and then looked at the ceiling before looking back at him with narrow eyes, "I'm not sure," she continued. "Right now I'm waiting for Gil."

The encounter between the two friends was defiantly tense but Sara had still not decided if that was because Greg was angry or just unsure of how to broach the subject of Sara's past.

"Ok, well I'll just leave this for Grissom and get out of your way." He said placing some case files on Grissom's desk.

"Greg." She tried to stop him as he headed out of the office. Getting no reply she followed him into the hallway. "Greg!" she called again and this time he turned around at hearing his name.

"What?" He replied with some hostility.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

"Why?" He shot back. "You didn't want to talk before." He spat at her before storming off down the hall.

"What was that all about?" Sara heard the familiar voice from behind her.

When she turned around she wasn't surprised to see her friend and co-worker. "Catherine." Sara turned. Unsure of how the older CSI would react to her presence.

"So?"

"So what?" Sara asked confused.

"What was that all about?" Catherine repeated her earlier question and motioned with her hands in the direction of where Greg had been standing moments ago.

"Oh that." Sara let out a sigh. "I think he's mad at me." Sara said heading back into Grissom's office with Catherine following right behind her.

"Yeah I'd say so. He'll come around."

"Yeah…"

"So," Catherine started trying to change the subject. "Does Grissom know you're coming?"

"Yeah I talked to him last night."

"Nice of him to share." Catherine muttered to no one in particular. "How long are you staying?"

"Uh, I'm not really sure. I came to…" and again she stopped the real reason for her visit seemed to be eluding her today. "I'm not sure why I came. It just felt like the right thing at the time." Sara huffed out a big breath before plopping down on the couch again.

"Sara," Catherine took a seat beside the brunette. "I…" she started but found herself lost for words.

"You read it." She said as more of a statement then a question.

"I read it." Catherine confirmed and Sara nodded her head.

"I understand if you…" Sara started but Catherine cut her off.

"Look Sara, I understand why you would want to keep all that to yourself. I really do. There is so many things in my own past that if they had been kept secret would have made so many things a lot easier." She paused for a second allowing her words to sink in. "But," she continued before Sara had a chance to interrupt her. "at the end of the day all that stuff is what makes us who we are. The good and the bad."

Sara sat on the couch and absorbed what her friend had said. She was trying to formulate a reply when Grissom came in. Sara stood and the two stared at each other intently but with love as if they were the only two people in the world at that moment.

"Right." Catherine said awkwardly as she observed the couple. "I'll just leave you two alone." She said on her way out of Grissom's office.

"Catherine." Sara caught her attention just in time. "Thanks." She said. Catherine merely winked and headed on her way.


End file.
